My social life is on Facebook.
And before you say “Oh, that’s so sad.”, let me explain.
I have seven children. It’s not exactly easy going out and making friends while hanging out with seven little people. Nor is it much of a priority, frankly. I love being a mother. I don’t mind being home every day with them. I find true fulfillment in raising them, teaching them, keeping a clean home, gardening comforting, etc… And I HAVE tried the social gig a few times but have always found I had not much in common with other women in my area. I would join a bible study group through our church or would go out to eat with my husbands co workers and their wives and all of the women would be standing around talking about mortgages and in ground pools and their own careers and I would be over here all “I made a new body scrub today out of brown sugar and breast milk!”
And for the longest time I thought I was the only one.
It was lonely.
Most of the time I was too busy being fulfilled to notice but once in awhile I noticed.
Then, in 2011 a Facebook friend of mine posted a documentary that you can find on YouTube all about the Rainbow Family. I watched the entire thing in awe and I remember thinking “Oh , my god, that’s MY family.” I had always joked I was a hippie born in the wrong era. I had not realized hippies still existed! I was over the moon. I had found my tribe.
I began searching and finding. Joined a dreadlocks group online and made friends. Made friends with their friends. Found a whole bunch of weirdos like like me.
Pixie is one of those weirdos.
Was it Dr Seuss who said that thing about finding a mutual weirdo and enjoying your mutual weirdness and calling it love? Well, we did. We were separated at birth or some crazy shiznit and one day we saw each other across a crowded room and got all excited and ran to eachother and hugged and never let go.
Because Pixie and I have never actually met face to face.
But when she lost babies and was grieving, I was there. When I lost my marriage and was scared she was there. When she began looking at potential children to add to her family, her and her hubby unsure if they could ever conceive and wanting so desperately to share their love with future children, she would send me links to kids online who needed to be adopted and I could see her mothering them all. She had that way. Broken children in need of much love would fare well in Pixies home. I was pregnant at that time, a mother of 5 lost babies and terrified I might lose this one. We were there for each other. When I was a single mom and depressed, she was there for me. From all the way across the country she was there for me. Truly. When she went into the hospital for health issues I worried like a mother hen about her for days. When she messaged me to tell me she had conceived I cried tears of joy for her. I thought sadly about all of those kids who would miss out on having Pixie for a mom but I was happy so happy for the fact she carried a child beneath her heart. And then this year when I asked her to be my matron of honor, she told me she was expecting once again. Pixie has some health issues but in my humble opinion, Pixie should have ALL the babies. I know a lot of great moms but she is the best.
Pixie is my soul sister. We are two weirdo extraordinaires cut from the very same fabric from the very same starry sky and destiny handed us each half of a golden medallion and urged us to find each other so we jumped on our mutual unicorns and so help me Flying Spaghetti Monster but we did it. We found each other. And in one month I get to hug her for real for the very first time.
Today Pixie turns 347. Or maybe 12. It depends on how she happens to be feeling today. I have a hunch that she has been here on this planet enough times to fill a thousand lifetimes. And I am so glad she came back to meet me in my lifetime. And I am sending her all of the love I have today plus buttloads of Happy Birthday wishes and sparkly confetti and jazz hands and a groovy dance and this:
Pixie, you are my most favorite human. Ever. You are my smiles and my heart and I am more than certain that I have been looking for you my whole life. I believe in soul mates. Not in the Hollywood way, but in the way that tells me you and I were meant to be. You are an incredible mom, a phenomenal woman, a fantabulous human. I love you.
Happy Birthday, sis.