I gross my kids out as often as possible.
That’s no easy feat considering six of my seven spawns happen to be boys. And anyone who knows boys knows they tend to revel in atrocious ick as often as possible.
I can’t fight fire with fire by dropping down to heir with bodily functions and bugs and squirrel skulls and armpit fart. (sigh.)
Nope, instead I kick it up a notch.
I love my fiancé.
No, seriously. That’s it. I kiss him lots. An obnoxious amount. I kiss him hello and goodbye. I kiss him when he goes to the store or to the coffee shop. I kiss him when I leave the room to go make lunch. I kiss him because he looks sexy in a suit and sexy in his Superman pajama pants. I hold his hand while he drives and in church. I hug him when he brings home a new outfit for Lucy. I snuggle with him on the couch while we watch family movies. I tell him I love him while we are out to eat as a family. I tell him I love him in love notes that I stick in his lunch cooler or in the pocket of his work pants or on the dashboard of his car. I wash his clothes and fold the and stack them neatly on his shelves so he doesn’t have to search for work shirts or socks. I make him lunches and breakfasts and dinners to take to work, with special little snacks and homemade meals. Each night I wash out his tupperwares and re-pack his cooler. I thank him for being such a good man. I tell him how wonderful he is, what an amazing father he is, how much I respect and admire the man he is and the man he is becoming. I sit at his feet and rub them when he has had a long day at work. I give him shoulder rubs. I run him baths. I bring him a towel warm from the dryer for after his shower. I serve him his meals when he is at home to eat them. I pour his drinks, bring him a cold beer, help take his boots off.
I do these things out of pure love. And many of them my children see. And all those kisses and snuggles, they might go ewwwwwwww. But the fact is, what they are seeing is love lived out loud. Healthy love. A give and take.
I am no feminist. Never have been.
It gives me joy to make him happy. To show him in all of these small simple ways that he is loved.
So many women like to complain about their men not showing them affection, not being romantic, etc. I have learned that in giving I receive.
Because it is certainly not one-sided by any means.
He shows me how I loved I am all of the time. He kisses me and holds me and whispers sweet things in my ear. He comes home with flowers or small gifts. Things that don’t cost too much but show that he really knows the little things that can make me happy. Hello Kitty coloring books and crayons. A huge stuffed elephant. my favorite candy. He tells me to dress up and takes me out to the ballet, the concert, concerts, restaurants. He takes me clothes shopping. He knows I hate mornings so he gets up before me to go get me a Starbucks drink or make me a coffee at home. Holds open doors and opens car doors for me. Leaves me little love notes on my laptop or in the kitchen by the coffeepot. He rubs my feet, reads my blogs, tells me how awesome the house looks everyday, tells me my meals are delicious tells me I am beautiful.
This is love lived out loud as well. And the kids see it.
What are we doing, besides making our children fake gag in their own mouths every time we sweet talk and kiss? Are we just out to gross them out?
No. Not really. That just happens to be an added perk.
What this is truly about is showing them what real true healthy love is all about. Love lived out loud every single day. Because I want my sons to see how Justin treats e and take mental notes. I want them to woo a girl someday in the old fashioned way. To show her respect, to treat her like a princess. To take that extra time to write a sweet love notes. Not just SAY the words I love you, but really SHOW that love. I want them to see how I treat him in return and settle for nothing less than a girl who will likewise show her love and resect him. I don’t want them settling for some girl who demands they spend money on her but never reciprocates the gestures in any way themselves. There should be no doubt that you are cherished and valued when you are in a relationship.
And my daughter, she will be watching Daddy very closely. I want her to go out into the world someday and find a man who will hold open doors and respect her words and hold her when she is scared and praise her when she needs courage. I want her to refuse to settle for a man who only has intentions to make himself happy at her expense. And I want her to watch how I do this, this marriage thing. How I honor the man I love with my actions and attitude. How easy it is to get a man to return romance by BEING romantic.
Romantic relationships are not 50-50. Ever. Not if you want it to be strong solid down to it’s core. Romantic relationships require 100-100 effort from both people. You get up every single day with the intention of living love out loud. And then you DO it.
We have our little stupid arguments. Although those really only occurred when my PPD was at it’s worse and now once in a while we have a small one if he is overtired from working so many days in a row or I am lacking nicotine or coffee. For the most part we have learned to perfect this dance of give and take and keep rowing onward up the stream and loving each other every single day. To take the challenge to SHOW each other how much the other matters to us from moment to moment. In small, simple ways. Ways that perhaps gross the kids out in the process.
I call that a win-win-win, really.
I gross my kids out as often as possible.