Hardest Job On Earth?

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I’m about to ruffle some feathers. Or probably just piss some folks right the fuck off.
That’s okay. I’m getting better at doing that and not caring so much as I get older. I think by the time I’m 98 I will be a real snarky bitch. It’ll be fun. πŸ˜‰
But seriously, my opinion on this topic may surprise a few people.
We’ve all heard people say : “Oh, Motherhood is the HARDEST job on earth.”
Tired-Mom2
Um….REALLY?
REALLY?
I see it proclaimed almost daily on at least one of the parenting groups I am a member of on Facebook or other online forums. How difficult Motherhood is as a job compared to every other job and what douchey douchholios their spouses are who bust their asses all day at work and then come home and expect to sit and relax for a few minutes after battling traffic for an hour. How dare they when SHE has been, and still is, working at the hardest job there is????
And let me throw out a quick side note, yes I acknowledge some women have children with special needs that require a job that exceeds the typical mothering role. And some spouses/partners are out there working cushy easy jobs and coming home and acting like indignant fuckwads who want a cold beer and 6 hours of gaming waiting for them. This blog is a generalization. It doesn’t apply to everyone.
That being said…..
Look, if you have time in your day to be sitting with your tablet in hand on the couch, coffee beside you, in your pajamas, while your spawns watch Doc McStuffins, typing out some long winded post about how Motherhood is the hardest job on earth…..you might be wrong.
Personally, I think that being a stay-at-home-mom is pretty damn cushy. I got up this morning, changed and fed the baby, let the dogs out, and now here I sit, coffee by my side, blogging for you bitches. In my pajamas. I am blessed to have a man in my life who allows me the joy of being able to be home with my baby. Heck, when HE got up this morning, it was 2 hours before me. He put on his work uniform, grabbed his lunch and drove off t battle at least an hour of traffic. The commute home for him will be closer to 2 hours.On his lunch break he has to drive to 2 different banks to deposit a check and then go pay rent to our landlords account. After work he has to stop at the grocery store so he probably will get home around 7:30. That’s a 14 hour work day including the commute. And once he gets home he will help here and there if I request him to, by changing a diaper or putting jammies on a toddler, etc…. And I want to bitch because I didn’t get to pee in complete privacy today? Really?
What kills me even more is the amount of moms who will admit to their houses being a wreck. Clutter and mess and chaos. Look, I get that kids make messes. But to say you just can’t keep up? Maybe what really needs to happen is you quit commiserating with fellow moms about the state of your kitchen on line and instead you shut OFF the internet and get up and GO CLEAN. Make an effort. Take pride in your job. If you worked out in the workforce and did your job half ass some days and just said “Meh, Fuck it.” and let it go to shit, you would get fired. I think it would be incredibly disrespectful to my man if he was at work all day, working hard to provide for our needs, to pay the bills and rent on a house that he comes home to and it’s a mess. He deserves to come home to a tidy, peaceful home. I’d be pretty annoyed if I came home after working all day and had to move crap around to find my shit. It would send a message that I didnt appreciate what he was doing for our family.
And before you go getting pissy, may I remind you that I have seven children and three dogs. Keeping this home organized and tidy is not an easy task. I wash dishes by hand three times a day, vacuum twice a day, steam clean the carpets once a week, dust, wash walls, clean out the fridge,and wash all the windows weekly. Clean both bathrooms at least once a day. Do 3-5 loads of laundry a day. Sweep and mop the kitchen twice a day.Give the dogs baths bi-weekly. Plus all of the daily upkeep. The kids are responsible for their own rooms but the toddlers room is my job plus the rest of the house. Add to that list the fact I am home schooling 5 of my 7 kids. Plus all the typical mom stuff like bandaging boo boos, breaking up fights, feeding babies, changing diapers, answering questions, making meals and snacks (mostly from scratch),ironing church clothes, taking time to play with them, read to them, etc etc… I’m not some judgy Mcjudgerson with my 1 newborn baby who sleeps 87 hours a day saying “Oh this is a piece of cake.”
Look, it’s NOT. Being a stay at home mom is WORK. Some days it can be emotionally draining. Exhausting. Last night I got a whole 3 hours of sleep. Which beat the night before where I barely got over 2 hours. I don’t get very many breaks if you consider breaks to be a solid half hour uninterrupted to eat a hot meal or take a nap. But I can manage time and accomplish enough that if I need to, I CAN nap in the afternoon. It means I stay up til 2 a.m.finishing chores and I have to have some major finesse to get both babies to nap at the same time and convince the other 5 to sit quietly and watch a movie in peace. But I can manage if I need to. When Justin comes home, dinner is cooking and the house is relatively tidy. I take pride in my job. And I try to remember to tell Justin every day how much I truly appreciate not only his hard work, but also the fact that he encourages me to be a stay at home mom.
What job are harder than being a stay at home mom? Well, look, it;s not all roses and sunbeams and leisure. Some days I’d take a job out in the world over this gig. But not just ANY job. Because there are some occupations that make being a stay at home mom of seven look like paradise in comparison. Toughest job in the world? Maybe not. How about loggers or commercial fisherman. Do you know how many commercial fishermen die annually while working? 152 out of every 100,000. Do you know how many stay at home moms die from work-related deaths annually? Probably substantially less. πŸ˜‰ Other jobs I wouldn’t trade for my role as a SAHM include:
*roofers
*recycleable and trash collectors
*ranchers
*police officers who work out on the streets in rough neighborhoods
*surgeons
*truck drivers
*power line installers
*mining machine operators
All of these jobs are more risky, dangerous, physically trying than what I do.I’m not risking my life. I don’t have to wear a uniform. I run my own schedule. If I am feeling sick, I can choose to slack on the housework for the day.
You cannot feasibly claim you have the toughest job on earth and then in the same breath mention how you haven’t gotten out of your pajamas all day or brushed your hair. With all that I have on my plate, I still take the time to put on makeup, do my hair, dress nice. Even if dressing nice is just throwing on a simple sundress or a clean pair of yoga pants with a tank top. As long as it is clean and I look decent. And before you think I am being all sanctimommy, I will be clear and honest and say when I was going through my deepest of darkest postpartum depression, there were days and days in a row when the house was not up to par, the laundry and dishes piled up and I stayed in the same damn yoga pants for 3 solid days. But the thing is, no one fired me. I was able to take the time I needed to feel the darkness, to embrace my depression and not suffer any major repercussions. I still had my job.
In so many ways, being a stay at home mom is HARD. It really is. I have to be the queen of multi tasking. I run on 4-6 hours of sleep. And those 4-6 hours are interrupted every 1-2 hours. I don’t get much privacy. I get worn thin and stressed out and have been known to lock myself in the bathroom to cry from time to time. BUT……I also feel strongly that being a stay at home mom is also a luxury. One I am so very lucky to be able to have in my life. I wanted these kids, dreamt of being a Mommy my whole life. It’s harder than I ever thought it would be. It is also more fulfilling than I ever thought it would be. It is so very much fun and wonderful and I treasure the snuggles and nursing sessions on the couch and the satisfaction I get while watching my family eat a meal I worked so hard to prepare or feel pride in myself when Justin comes home and comments on how good the house looks. It is also trying, tiring, stressful, overwhelming at times. But Toughest Job On Earth?
No. Just no.

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4 responses »

  1. Oh dear God THANK YOU!! Thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking (and sometimes saying) all along! HARDEST job on Earth?! Hardly! My husband works SIX 12-16 hour days, with no breaks and he WORKS from the second he walks in the office door to the second he walks out. NO WAY am I going to complain when he doesn’t do anything around the house. NO. FREAKING. WAY. He works his ASS OFF to provide me the PRIVILEGE of staying home to school our daughter. What I do at home PALES in comparison to what he does six days a week!! Do I have it easy all the time? Of course not! But any hardships I have here at home cannot even BEGIN to compare to HIS day.

  2. I totally agree. It is a luxury. I will say though, I never cleaned as much as you do even before I had kids. I just pick up and wash dishes daily, and do laundry, bathrooms and vacuum weekly. I am terrible at doing the windows, I just don’t and I don’t dust either. The carpets have been cleaned twice in 12 yrs. Everyone has a level of clean they want and this works for us. I am happy your system works well for you but I honestly have no idea how you have that kind of time and also teach your kids. You must be super mommy!

    • I multitask. Like a boss. lol And adult ADHD blended with OCD doesn’t hurt. πŸ˜‰ The stuff I do is actually really neccesary with this many kids. They love smearing stuff on windows and tracking stuff all over floors constantly. If I didn’t do it all, we’d probably be infested with critters. lol

  3. I love this! I have to say that I was one of those SAHM’s who said all the time that it’s a tough job. This makes me want to be a better and more appreciative SAHM. For my kids, hubby, & myself! Thank you for writing this.

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