My Favorite Child


Confession time, I have a favorite child.I really do. And the reason this child is my favorite is based solely on their age. There is such a thing as the PERFECT age for a kid to be. The best age. And this kid is it.
Problem with my confession is it’s a flawed preferential system. Because who my favorite is actually varies from day to day. People will warn you about the exhaustion and burn-out and worry of having an infant. They will warn you of the so-called “terrible twos”.(I really HATE that term) They will talk about how they never get to pee alone or shower in peace or eat a meal sitting down. They will complain about a lack of sex life. They will tell you that once you have kids you will never have a tidy house or a sane mind ever again. They will have stories to share about their hormonal teens and will gripe about butting heads with them. All in all, so many folks paint this picture that becoming a parent is basically the equivalent of going into battle. And enduring that battle for 18 years. By how about THIS thought process. How about we set our ego down and stop making it all about US? How about we begin to see our children as what they actually are? They are separate beings, individual souls. They are not an extension of ourselves. They are here to find their own path and we are here to help guide them. Not to carve their path or insist they take our already well-trampled own path. All too often we take their actions or thoughts or attitudes personally. Or we take the issues we ourselves have and portray them onto this small human. When we step back and begin to realize what these children truly are, when we can respect that to it’s fullest…only then will so many of the day to day stresses and fights go away. Only then will you realize how much JOY there is in being bestowed this gift of parenting.
So, on to my seven most favorite children……
1) Lucy Diamond-Rainbow. 3 months old. My sweet, long desired daughter. You are a firecracker with the face of an angel. You are stomping feet on the small of my back when I roll away from you at night in bed. You are lips like a rosebud on my nipple, eyes of a solar system, long toes that can curl my finger like a monkey. You smell like flowers. Somehow, even when I use the exact same soap and lotion that I used on your brothers when THEY were babies, somehow YOU make it all smell like flowers. I love dressing you up. Curling your little mohawk in my fingers. Snuggling you skin to skin in the bathtub. Carrying you against my heart in your wrap. Everytime you smile my heart just melts. Melts right out of my chest. You are my starshine. I love you. Being a baby is the BEST age.
2) Blaze Marley-Honor. Almost 2. God, how can SO much adorableness be crammed into one tiny soul??? Look at your curls. They fit your personality so well. The way you squinch your eyes shut and breath like a snuffly pig when you smile so huge. The way you smash your face down by the crack at the bottom of the door every single morning when you wake up and calmly chant “Mama? Mama? Dada? Dada? ” over and over until we let you out. The entire world is your laboratory and you are the greatest scientist that ever was, so inquisitive and perceptive and full of awe and wonder. Pebbles, ants, wall texture, the sound the fridge makes….you pay attention to it all. You bring me treasures with a look of utter glee and triumph. You high five like a boss. You give the best hugs. You crave independence but in this great big world you also prefer to keep Mama and Dada close at hand. You color with crayons like you are on some sort of upper, a frenzied whirlwind of manic art. You dance with abandon. You march naked through the house, clutching a spoon and a potato and all I can think is “Never lose that passion and flair. Please. Never forget to be wild and free and silly and filled with wonder and joy.” Two is the BEST age.
3)Drezdyn Nicholas-Jesse. 5 years old. Something happens at 5 years old. I watched it happen with your brothers. Suddenly you have this very clear understanding of how the world works. And suddenly you can put into words all of your thoughts in such an adult-like manner.I love listening to your thoughts, just sitting back and seeing how your brain works. You were a baby, a toddler, a preschooler. Up til now you held status quo of a little one. Suddenly you are part of the big boy clan. And you take that role so very seriously. With chin thrust out to face the world you take on each insurmountable task with such stoic bravery, as if to say “I’ve been doing this for YEARS.” You are the very best trampoline bouncer. The greatest library-book-picker-outer. The most wonderful giggler that ever has giggled.You are brave, small mouse. So brave. Five is the BEST age.
4) Creed Judah-Ishmael. 7 years old. You , my son, show great dedication to what you put your focus on. Whatever task that is before you is taken very seriously. When you play, you play hard. With ferocity and intensity. When you build a castle you use ALL OF THE BLOCKS. And then make me take a picture so you can look at the picture and admire it as if through someone elses eyes. When you draw with your brothers, you sit at the table and they draw 4 pictures each to your one. You take a solid 30 minutes on your one picture and use a variety of colors and pay careful attention to details that just a year earlier you would not have even thought to add. You can tie your own shoes. You can count to high numbers. You can ride a two wheeler with no training wheels easy peasy lemon squezzy. You can do cartwheels and walk on your hands.You hold your baby sister when she cries and talk to her in such a way that I know exactly the kind of Father you will someday be and I know that someday I will be at your house when you are all grown and will watch you walking the floors with your newborn child in your arms and you will be murmuring sweet Daddy things to that baby and my heart will go “Oh, THERE he is!” Seven is the BEST age.
5) Bailey Ziven. 9 years old. You are the first one up every morning And you let Mom sleep in by making your brother a bottle of milk when he starts his door-crack chanting so he stays quiet a little longer. You ask every morning to help make breakfast. You want to learn so many new things all at once that when you get online you can spend hours learning everything from how to properly fry an egg to how steel is made to where koala bears come from. You like your time alone. You are becoming fierce about protecting the fact that you are, indeed , your own person, with likes and dislikes that might not match anyone else in the whole family but thats okay because thats real life. You are still sweet, but also manage to be strong and tough. You are expanding horizons. Beginning to tentatively spread wings. Stepping out onto uncertain ground. I am impressed with your willingness to try when you just as easily could say “nope.” and tuck in on yourself and give up. More adults should have your type of determination and balls. (and you’d be the first to giggle at the fact I used the word balls.)
6)Aidan Andrew. 11 years old. You, child, have a personality bigger than your skin can hold, I think. Your name means “fiery” and boy, you ARE. When you are angry, you are PIST. When you are happy, you are downright giddy. You can make me laugh out loud and I LOVE that. Its hard sometimes to find an adult who can make me laugh. To discover one of my own children has inherited my own special blend of dry wit and sarcasm. Oh that makes me SO happy. I love the fact you know how to brew a perfect pot of coffee. You know how to cook almost better than I do. (almost!) You are the best OCD child EVER, the way you organize the fridge or rearrange the bedroom or load the dishwasher. You are a lot like me.The good and the bad. I have no doubt, that despite the fact that you struggle with wrestling with some inner demons from time to time (as we all do) you are going to grow up to be a phenomenal man someday. Eleven is the BEST age.
7) Zane Christian. 13 years old. I thought having a tenager might be scary. I was dead wrong. You are simply on a different level than your siblings. I can talk to you as if you are more my peer. We can watch shows together, share links on FaceBook that we know the other will think is cool or interesting or funny. I have found a friend in you. What a wonderful, wonderful discovery. That the child I birthed 13 years ago is now one of my best friends. You are already more prepared for your adulthood than I am at age 34. You have such mammoth aspirations and goals. And I have no doubt that every plan you make will be seen through to fruition. I know you will accomplish great things. You are such a smart kid. And talented, damn talented. You make me so proud. I see these punk ass little 13 year old boys who are trying smoking or drinking or drugs or talking about sex (god, your biological father was YOUR AGE when he started having sex!) And then there is you, and you struggle at times with the fact you don’t “fit in”. I hope you never do. I hope you always stay true to who you are. This incredible young man who can draw like an anime wizard, can join me in my goofiness, can step up and be man of the house without batting an eye.Thirteen is the BEST age.

I can’t wait for them to continue to grow up. I can’t wait for what comes next. These children keep morphing and growing and evolving. And I am so very very blessed to have a front row seat. ❤

3 responses »

  1. This is my favoritest post! 🙂 You are perfectly correct in the fact that each of our children are wonderful in their own way! And we are not their OWNERS, but just their keepers, their mentors, then someday, their friend. What a beautiful thing you have created for them by writing this ❤

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