Family Update

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What’s new, Tonia?
Well, lemme tell ya, it’s been a BUSY last few months. As opposed to the way my life TYPICALLY is,which usually entails of sitting poolside eating bonbons, sipping a daquiri while my children nap 11 hours a day.
Yeah. Right.
Anyway, we’ll start with The Littles. youngest to Oldest. Which is exactly how we do things in this house. Much to my oldest sons chagrin. Whatever. I just always remind him he will be the very first to get to move out so it comes back around.
Blaze. Blaze turned 1 year old on August 3rd. Not a huge hoopla. You always throw a huge hoopla with your first childs first birthday. But you wise up after you’ve popped out a few because thats when you realize the first birthday is not a big deal in any way except for the parents to high five and say “Yay! we survived without killing the baby, each other or ourselves!”
So, I bakes a giant cupcake as big as my son and plopped it in front of him, stuck a #1 candle in it’s top and we all sang Happy Birthday to him. He spent a solid 30 minutes stuffing chocolate in his face until he was in a diabetes delirium. His brothers ate regular sized cupcakes and then each of them gave him one of their old toys as a gift. (A family tradition and a great lesson in recycling) Chris and I got him a 4 wheeler. (No not a REAL one, you spazzoids, so calm yourselves.) Successful day. Blazes father didn’t get him crap. Not even a simple card in the mail. He wasn’t missed. Blaze keeps getting chubbier and chubbier every day. I have a hunch he has a secret stash of cookies somewhere. But I have no proof yet. The only evidence is the fact he now is the proud owner of 4 chins. Suspicious I tell ya.
He refuses to walk. I say refuses because I know he has the ABILITY. He acts like he can’t. But I have seen him twice today snatch up a cat and hug it violently to him while chewing on its ear and standing totally up on his own with no assistance. So, he CAN, he just won’t. Because he isn’t stupid. Being carried around everywhere makes life alot easier. It’s fact.
Drezdyn is 4 now. Which means he is this very awesome blend of hilarity and infuriating frustration. He throws some real solid tantrums. He likes the word no. He is still struggling with sleeping through the night and ends up in our room almost every night. He loves cheesy scrambly eggs and apples. He loves Family guy and He Man. Oh man does he have a serious hardcore infatuation with HeMan. He told me yesterday that if the baby is a boy I need to name it HeMan. If it’s a girl I should name it Girl HeMan. Duly noted, son. He says things on an hourly basis that crack me up. Yesterday he put on a pair of my underwear and danced around my room in them. He’s lucky i’m not the kind of mom to take pictures of stuff like that. Instead I tell everyone about it on my public blog.
Creed is 6 now. Kindergarten now. Home school. He’s been diligently working on his letters. He gets frustrated with it but at this point, it’s old hat for me. I’ve been through this with his 3 older brothers. I myself was reading and writing by age 2 1/2 so I used to worry that something was wrong with my boys that they took a bit longer to figure out this reading/writing gig. I don’t worry now. My oldest son couldnt read at all until he was 7. He now devours Harry Potter books like food. So, Creed will get there. I know this. I am actually more worried with his psychological issues. I can’t pinpoint what it is yet, and I am not one to turn to doctors unless it is a true medical crisis. Which it isn’t. But have you ever had that moment as a parent where you just know “something” is off? Yeah. This is what that is. He has rage and anger issues. He is very socially awkward. He is very impulsive.He has alot of specific sensory issues. the possibilities are so overwhelming at times. ODD, SPD, ADHD, Aspergers, etc etc…. I spend time every day online reading up on different childhood disorders and learning all I can. Not because I believe in labels, but because I want desperately to be able to understand him and what he is going through so I can help him.
Bailey. Bailey has done a lot of growing up recently. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact some major stressors have been removed from our home. He has always been my most sensitive child. He used to get nosebleeds out of the blue on an almost daily basis. It dawned on me last night that I cannot recall the last time he got a nosebleed. He has found much more self-assurance and become far more responsible and helpful. He has recently discovered a passion for music and is continually coming to me asking me to burn him new cd’s. Which he plays at full volume in his bedroom and lip syncs and dances to. Awesome.
Aidan. Oh man has Aidan taken some HUGE steps in maturity this summer. This boy has had issues with anger and cussing and tantrums his entire life. I use to have to hold him in my arms and restrain him from hurting others. He used to throw punches at me and call me names. He has taken huge leaps and bounds in his anger managemnet skills and coping skills. A lot of that has to do with Chris taking the time to TALK to him and set that example of how a man deals with strong emotions. Aidan has been a big help with the baby. Blazes first word was “Aidan.” And with very good reason. It’s sweet. He wil make a great dad someday.
Zane. Zane will be 13 next February. This means he basically knows everything and I clearly know nothing.He can debate anyone. It drives me nuts but I am also very proud that he thinks for himself, questions everything and challenges others. His artistic talents have grown impressively recently. He is in 6th grade now. I recently came to the realization that he has aspergers. in retrospect, it was SO obvious that I cannot believe I took this long to realize it. It was a couple months ago, in my research for Creeds issues that I came across an aspergers support group and began reading about the symptoms and my brain went “Oh my GOD. This is Zane!” It was a really nice light bulb moment because now some of his little idiosyncrasies are easier to understand and work with. So, we are learning techniques to help him and taking it day by day.
Me? I’m 8 weeks pregnant now. And scared to death. I’ve lost 4 babies at 8 weeks. The last one I lost I squatted in my bathtub because I couldn’t bear the thought of flushing my baby down the toilet. Squatted and passed my baby in its sac into the palm of my hand. Squatted there crying while I watched my baby do a flip in the sac, then cease to move at all. Broke my heart. I’m terrified of going into my ultrasound appointment, laying on that bed, and being told there is no heartbeat. Anyone who has lost a baby through miscarriage knows how it is. To get pregnant again. Every twinge of a possibility of a cramp, every time you wipe you look for blood on the toilet paper. I already love this baby deeply and truly. Being a mother is a blend of worry and love. Always.
Life is good. God is great. My cup runneth over. I am too blessed to be stressed.
Every every day.

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