I didn’t watch the VMA’s. But after reading fifteen different versions of the same comment on Face Book about Miley Cyrus’ performance (all 15 comments basically said WTF and OMG), my curiousity was piqued so I strolled over to YouTube and found the video. Six minutes of my life I can never get back again. Ever. it took about 11 seconds before my brain started to boil in utter confusion. Her tongue flapping in the breeze like that made me a tad concerned she might be having a seizure. Seriously, I sorta wish I had filmed my reaction. My face basically looked like this :

Seriously, WHAT was she thinking?
Dear Lord, is this what we women have become/ We burned bras and rallied for the right to vote so that we could hump a foam finger on stage and dance provocatively in a teddy bear teddy? I mean seriously???
Her performance made me cringe for two reasons. One, because she represented musicians. I myself am a singer/songwriter. It always kills me when artists go a bit overboard with the shock level think. To me, it screams of their limited true talent. Gimme a chick any day on a stage with nothing but her voice and a piano or keyboard. Gimme Beth Hart, Tori Amos, Janis Joplin. Gimme heart and art and passion and raw talent. I have no interest in watching you rub your booty all over a married man while emotionless teddy bears prance around. Its not talent. Its just disturbing.
And two, it made me cringe because she essentially was representing the female race. Think of how many adolescent girls saw her performance last night. They sat there and thought to themselves “Hey, I can do that. Thats whats cool, whats hot, what men think is sexy.” We as women, meanwhile, grown-ass women are standing up yelling at our tv’s “For the LOVE OF GOD go put some freaking CLOTHES on and quit humping that foam finger!!!!” She didnt do us any favors. She bought right into the Hollywood industry, and the porn industry, and any other industry that likes to make women into these mindless sex objects and nothing more. The weight of value is always measured by the size of boobs or the lack of clothes or how well we can grind on things.
How about this for a swell idea. How about we start finding a different breed of women sexy? How about we take notice of the strong, independent single mother who raises respectful kids by herself and bakes a mean banana bread and call HER hot? Or that 19 year old who works her ass off in college and spends her spare time volunteering at a local soup kitchen ? THAT is a sexy woman right there. Or a woman who stands for what she believes in, even if she stands alone. The one who fights for equal rights in the workplace because she works just as hard as her male co workers and knows she deserves better pay. The one who battles addiction and fights like hell and WINS because her daughters mean more to her than one more high. Or the one who keeps a smile on her face and works at making others feel better, even while dealing with a debilitating illness that causes her chronic pain. THOSE are the epitome of sexiness in MY opinion. That is what being a sexy, sensual, strong woman is all about.
Frankly, it has nothing to do with any of the crap in the video above. All I can think is someday, twenty or thirty years from now Miley Cyrus is going to sit down and watch that video. One can only hope she has a TAD more class by that point.
And here’s a music video to erase the above one outta your mind. This happens to be one of my favorite singers. My favorite song by her. She’s a lil raw, a lil rough around the edges, but she’s sexy in a way that has zero to do with giant teddy bears and foam fingers being used in awkward sexual ways.
You’re welcome.


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