It’s baby #7 on the way. Trust me, I’ve heard every ignorant comment and ridiculous comment in the world.
“You do realize what causes that, right?”
“Are you trying for a girl this time?”
“I don’t know how you do it! I’d lose my mind!”
“Working on a basketball team?”
“Are you getting your tubes tied after THIS one?”
Hey, newsflash. It’s none of your damn business what choices I make for MY family. It has zero effect on you and your daily life. Therefore you are NOT entitled to share your opinion with me.
I do realize that many people simply do not understand because their priorities are different than my own. And I am fine with that. I don’t care if you have 11 kids or 2 kids or no kids. I don’t care if you had your first at age 14 or waited until your 40’s to become a mother. It is simply not my place to judge others for their journey. I wish everyone thought that way. bUt since they don’t, I guess I need to clear a few things up.
1) I do not regret my children. Not for one solitary second. Not even this most recent babe who defied birth control and exists anyway. I do not believe in abortion so that was never ever an option. I do not feel like my kids hinder my freedom or have held me back from oppurtunities. I do not desire to go get a career making a ton of money while strangers raise my children. This is MY personal feeling. I do not miss partying, hanging out with friends, etc… I do not want to go on a child-free vacation with my man. Family vacations are far more fun. I do not wish to have more STUFF. Stuff is useless. I don’t want name brand clothes and electronic equipment and a flashy car. I far prefer baking with my children on rainy days, collecting river rocks for painting, backyard football games and Family Movie Nights. I don’t want more money. I want to treasure every single precious moment I have with my sons.
2) I am not overwhelmed. Sure, there is chaos sometimes. There are certainly days I get stressed or worried or angry. Days I yell too much. Days I cry in frustration. I refuse to play the perfect Mommy card. There’s no such thing. I’m not Mary friggin Poppins. But alot of people have this vision in thier head of my life. They assume I live in filth and stink, with boys running wild (and probably naked. Smeared in mud) while I run around after them holloring and disheveled, my hair sticking up,in mismatched clothes, looking like a wild woman. Thats not the case. I run a tight ship. I HAVE to. My boys say yes mam, no mam. They make thier beds after breakfast. They do chores. I home school. I dress nice(no ratty pajamas) and listen to music while I clean house in the mornings. Because this is my JOB and I treat it as such. I understand some women have no desire to be a Stay At Home Mom. And some moms don’t WANT 7 children. But the fact is, since I was 4 years old, THIS was my dream. To be a wife and a mother. To raise my children. I love being a homemaker. It gives me pleasure to have a shiny bathroom or to see my sons eating a healthy meal I cooked from scratch. I love sewing handmade pillows and kneading dough for bread and hanging tye dyed curtains and seeing my pantry all stocked and organized. I am not pulling my hair out in exasperation. I feel blessed. Fulfilled. Content.
3) 7 is a fine number for me. I decided when I was 14 years old and met a wonderful family with 6 kids, that I wanted to grow up and have at least 6 myself someday. Their home was filled with laughter and love and faith. I craved that. A large family has always been my goal, my dream. Toss into account the fact I am a christian and believe in what the bible says about children. That they are a blessing, a gift. “Blessed is the man who has a quiverfull.” I do not feel strapped down by my children. I LOVE being pregnant. I feel vibrant, enetergetic, full of life. I feel all Earth-Mother-y and curvy and zen. I feel that being a mother is my purpose and I love fulfilling that purpose. I love the laboring process. It is primal and empowering. I am not being selfish here. My sons all get ample alone time with me and with Chris. We are very diligent in being sure of this. They earn points through chores to get special one-on-one time with one of us and they are always free to come to us and talk to us. We do Movie Nights. We cook together. We learn together. We also are sure that when a child craves alone time by themselves that that desire is respected and that that need is met. My children do not lack anything. Not the important stuff. No, they don’t have Ipods and Kindles and Wiis. But they DO have brothers who are best buddies with them. They have lots of memories of game nights and bonfires. They catch fireflies in the backyard. They play at the creek and build forts in the woods. They know how to cook some awesome meals. They have listened to me read literary classics to them at bedtime. They have childhoods crammed full of tickling and snuggling and wrestling and stories and crafts and baking and laughter and praying and dinners together and love. They lack nothing.
I actually read a post on FaceBook recently where a woman was ignorantly talking badly about myself and my family. She called me some names and then mentioned I was pregnant AGAIN and said it was “nasty.” This comment perplexed me. HOW can a child existing ever be nasty? I mean, maybe if I got knocked up in some one-night-stand she might have some valid reason to find a bit of shame in my pregnancy. But I think her point was that somehow 7 children made me a whore. ? Her comment didn’t offend me. It amused me at best. What was even better was the woman underneath who commented on the post by saying I would get what I deserved on Judgment Day.
What the what what????
To me, thats like saying the man who works hard at his job is nasty because he gets a raise or a promotion. These children are my blessing from God. They are nothing but goodness and light and love to my soul.
If I can look back on my life and see I raised my children into adults who have integrity and character and faith and passion, If I do nothing else with my life but raise my children to be people who will go out into the world and make a positive change in it in some way…..than I will consider my life successfully lived. ❤