Spoiled Brats?

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Whilst perusing FaceBook yesterday I stumbled across a photo of a young mother who had recently given birth to her third child. She had been a teen mom, having a set of twins at age 17. She is now married, owns a home and is 21 years old. She and her husband planned this third child and have the stable life and financial means to raise this new baby as well as the two they already have. But while scrolling through the comments I was shocked at how many negative comments I saw. People having the audacity to call this mother a slut, to ask her if she was done having kids, to suggest to her she get her tubes tied.
I am always totally confused when I see people saying such things to another person in regards to their lifestyle choices. I’m sorry, but when did another persons lifestyle choices effect YOU? What does it really matter to you how many children a person has or at what age they have those children? A hundred years ago it was common for folks as young as 12, 13,14 to get married and have babies. They worked hard. They raised children. They took life seriously. Now, I’m not saying I think age 12 is a smart age to go start a family. BUT, I do think we coddle our kids these days. We make comments about “letting kids have a childhood.” And while yes, I do agree in allowing kids to be kids, to explore the world and live life and not be too rushed into adulthood. But I also feel strongly that we are raising generation of spoiled, pampered brats. Kids who expect cellphones for their 9th birthday. Teens who cannot understand why Mommy and Daddy won’t just hand them cash. Um, how about because Mommy and Daddy work their asses off for that cash? Since when did we become so damn entitled? We have a generation of youth who get every stupid game system, call phone, I pod, I pad, etc…..on Gods green earth because parents don’t want to take the time to actually invest in their kids lives. When was the last time you went out into the backyard with your child and tossed a ball or built a fort? When was the last time you went on a walk, showed your child nature? When was the last time you read a book with them? Discussed their life? No, instead we let them turn their brains to mush playing video games and then we wonder why we have so many people in their 20’s still living at home with Mom and Dad.
Maybe it’s time we start expecting MORE from our children. Like the Duggar family with 19 kids, who just happen to all be very well mannered, respectful, hard working children. Those two parents expect their children to ALL do daily chores and each of the older ones is responsible for a younger sibling. People cry child abuse at that. But that’s how MY family works. I teach my sons it takes the ENTIRE family to make a home run smoothly. I refuse to coddle my sons. Mainly because I don’t want my future daughter-in-laws to hate me.
So, we raise a generation of spoiled brats. And they get it in their head they shouldn’t need to work for anything, that they need to enjoy childhood for as long as possible, far into their teens and twenties and even thirties. And when we actually SEE a young mom out there working hard providing for her children, investing love and time into them, we cry out that she is a slut. I think our vision has become seriously, dangerously skewered. I know an awful lot of teen moms, or moms in their early 20’s , who are spectacular parents. (Dads too.) And I sadly know an awful lot of parents in their 20’s and 30’s who spend more time out partying and socializing than they do with their children. Apparently THAT is what is acceptable in our society. I myself have heard enough comments from people who tell me I “deserve” my own time, my own freedom. That I ought toput my kids in daycare so I can seek some lofty career. That I ought to dump my kids on my mom for a bit so the hubby and I can go on a vacation.
Screw that. My children are my life. And it’s nobodies business but mine and my husbands how we raise them. And weare raising them to be ADULTS. To be responsible. To be able to leave the nest at 18 and have solid ground to walk on. I don’t plan on doingthier laundry at age 25. I plan on being secure in my knowing they can handle life and live it. Its so backwards how people think these days. We label the responsible ones as wrong and they childish, spoiled ones as right. Its the American way.
Wanna know why so many of our youth drop out of school? Whywe have so many obese children in this country? Why there are so many deadbeat dads? Why SAT scores are so low in comparison to the educational standards of some other countries? Its called entitlement, folks. Maybe we need to stop cushioning life for our babies and let them grow up. And maybe its high time we look at the ones who are out there every day working so hard and stand and applaud them.
That’s all Im saying.
(Though my reply to the man who called the young mom of three a slut was slightly less detailed. And slightly less polite.)

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